Time Bomb.

26 Oct

This is how I feel:

My due date is Tuesday. I get at least 5-10 phone calls, Facebook messages, and text messages per day asking me if I’ve had the baby yet. I should feel loved that all these people care enough about me that they take time out of their busy lives to check on me. I just wish I had something more exciting to tell them other than..”No..no progress either.”
Not one contraction.
Not one centimeter of dilation.
Not one glimmer of hope that maybe..just maybe this baby actually wants to come out of me and join the world.
All I’ve had are some random Braxton Hicks contractions and a lot of wishful thinking.
And my poor poor husband. He has been calm, cool and collected this entire pregnancy. From the moment I told him he has been excited and rational. He’s never freaked out about money, his ability as a father and even when we began to realize over the summer that I was not going to find a job he said he’d rather us struggle and me stay home anyway. I waited nine long months for the freak out that never came. I’ve finally realized it never will come either. He has told me on several occasions he felt like he was always meant to be a father. I know the minute he holds Little Dave in his arms my heart is literally going to explode and I will never be the same. However, this last week has been an emotional rollercoaster for him. He is so anxious for Little Dave to arrive he literally cannot contain himself. Every groan a make (usually while trying to stand from a sitting position) he gets excited. Every pain I feel he tells me he’s ready to drive me to the hospital. He’s had his hospital bag packed for five weeks and I just finished packing today. Tomorrow is my 40 week appointment and I will either leave the doctors office with an induction date or a promise that labor is eminent (like..within 24 hours). I think I will be able to control myself until then but Dave might have a heart attack. It’s lucky they will be taking my blood pressure tomorrow morning, not Daves.

So for now we’re just waiting..and watching my stomach expand to a size I never thought it would reach while we wait for him to get here. I just wish people would stop staring at me.

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