Working hard for the money.

8 Jan

I went back to work yesterday.  By the end of last week I was dying for some adult conversation with someone other than Dave and today I was sobbing in my car on the way to work wishing I was still at home with my little boy.


My mom came up yesterday to ease the pain of going back to work.  I have left Holden before but only under the watchful eye of my mom and Gummy.  Leaving him today was hard enough but the little punk didn’t make it any easier.  While I’m at work Holden will be staying with a good friend of ours.  She’s a stay-at-home mom with a little two-year old boy who doesn’t resemble Satan in any way and she loves babies.  Perfect right?  Holden gets to stay with someone who will snuggle him and play with him instead of a daycare center where God knows what happens.  Holden has met her before on several occasions and has always instantly fallen asleep in her arms and is completely smitten.

Today was another story.  Holden wanted to kill mommy.  The second I handed him over to her he screamed bloody murder.  I took him back because I am a control freak and he instantly calmed down.   We chatted for a few minutes and said “Okay, I’m going to hand him to you then I’m going to run out of the door.  Because if he cries I physically won’t able to leave.”  I handed him and ran and got in my car and cried the ride to work and contemplated running in there and screaming “I just can’t do this’s too much!”  But, I didn’t because I enjoy my job and being away from Holden is good for my sanity both of us.

Do you want to know the sad part?  The really truly pathetic part?

I work a grand total of FOUR hours a week.  Yes, four.  One, two, three, four.  What’s even worse?  Dave picks Holden up about an hour and a half after I drop him off.

I need to get a grip.


One Response to “Working hard for the money.”


  1. I’m not sure if the grass is actually greener.. « - April 14, 2010

    […] off after Holden was born and ran right back.  The first day I cried the entire way to work..remember? But eventually it became my safe haven.  If I was having a rough day with Holden or in need of […]

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