The road to hell is lined with cupcakes..or Enteneman’s doughnuts..or Taco Bell..I can’t decide which.

10 Feb

McFatty Monday..or Tuesday because Holden has a cold…Week 4

So, I have to say I am pretty flipping proud of myself.  A year ago I barely got up off the couch to go to the kitchen and now I work out pretty much every night.  The suprising part is I like it.  There are things in my life I have come to accept.  I will never be someone who loves running, lifting heavy weights or doing really high impact workouts.  I will never be the size I was in high school again (size six..oh how I miss you).  I am pretty sure my bones have readjusted themselves since then.  I also know that my post baby body, even if I do get to my goal weight, will never ever look as good as it did before.  I have accepted those things.  I don’t cry about it.  It is what it is.

What I cannot accept is my inability to lay off the chocolate and the Taco Bell.  Seriously.  There is a trigger in my brain somewhere that flips on when I see a Cheesy Gordita Crunch or a piece of chocolate.  ANY kind of chocolate.  It drives me insane but before I can even really think about what I am doing I am elbow deep in doughnut.

This..is my biggest problem.  And until recently I didn’t even realize that this wasn’t normal.  Dave had a horrible day about a year and a half ago and I asked him where he wanted to go to eat.  We got into a discussion about really horrible days and I said “when I have a really horrible day I just want to eat a cheeseburger or something really bad for me.” Apparently, not everyone feels this way.  Because little did I know but when Dave has a horrible day he wants to lock himself in his room and play video games or go workout to blow off steam.  Depending on what phase of life he’s in.  (Dave goes through yearly phases..six months out of the year he wants to bulk up and hit the gym everyday the other six months he wants to sit around and do nothing.  Amazingly the boy can put on and drop anywhere from 30-40 pounds in a matter of months.  I HATE him). Anyway..

So I’m a comfort eater.  And when I need comfort I do not want a banana.  I do not want anything remotely good for me.  I want McDonald’s and I want it now.  This is my biggest problem and I need have to fix it.  Like now.

On the upside..on Saturday night I weighed myself and I was officially down 15 pounds since January 1st!  It’s motivation for me.  I have eaten better, but not great, and working out every night.  This is the part where I will NOT tell you how I celebrated by going to Taco Bell and eating a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Combo.

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