I can’t sit still.

25 Mar

Lately I’ve been feeling restless, anxious & panicky all at the same time.

In the old days when I felt like this there were things I could do about it.  It wasn’t unusual for Dave to go to work and to come home and have our hallway be an entirely different color (happened in the hallway once, then the bedroom).  But now, I can’t.  I literally have a baby attached to my hip 80% of the day so the only thing I can really do is wonder the aisles at Target.  This works for a minute but then I come home and get restless, anxious & panicky all over again.

The internet is boring me.  The blogs I read don’t update enough (I guess this is what happens when you check them 2-3 times…A DAY).  We have no television and the weather has gotten crappy so I can’t go for walks right now.  I know what you’re thinking..don’t you have the lovely funny husband who you blog about so much?  Couldn’t he watch the baby?  Yeah, he could, but the irony is the only time I don’t feel restless anxious & panicky is when we are all together.  I love spending time playing airplane with Holden and Dave and could do it for hours.   Unfortunately  Dave works (let’s face it..someone has to) so I end up spending my days restless.  The other day..the day of the great nap..I was so excited Holden was asleep in his crib, but then I realized I literally had nothing to do.  When he’s using me as his own personal crib mattress I can sit and watch my television shows online and be okay with it.  The last thing I wanted to do when I had a free lap was sit.  So I cleaned the bathroom, from top to bottom.  It’s so beautiful in there we could throw a dinner party and not use plates.

I’m looking forward to next week.  Dave is on Spring Break, the weather should be nicer, Holden is getting baptized & we are having Easter with tons of family.

I’m just ready for it to start acting like it’s Spring.

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