Saying goodbye..

31 May

On a side note..I should entitle this thread *@*@#)@?!  Because I totally forgot my password and just spent the past 15 minutes trying to figure it out.  I failed and just got a new one.

 

Anyway..on with saying goodbye.  A lot has happened since my last post.  We bought a new house, moved out of our old one, school has ended and I have spent the first four days of my summer vacationing painting something or watching Glee.  This is oddly reminiscent of when Dave and I moved in our first house and I painted anything that was white and spent the summer watching Gilmore Girls on DVD.  Only this time I have a little toddler running around my house helping me unpack by taking pretty much everything out of every box and then leaving it there.

So..not..helpful.

I love my new house & I will write more about that (and show you my to-do list which is 3 pages long) later.  Saying goodbye to my old house was harder than I thought.  Scratch that.  I knew it would be hard..but letting go of it has been harder than I thought.  I remember the day we moved in.  Dave carried me in on his back and we slept on the floor on blankets.  It was romantic and thrilling.  Our first year there was picture perfect.  I loved every second of grad school and Dave tolerated his job enough that it didn’t let it effect him.  I adored my house.  It was new and sparkly and people had house lust when they came to visit.

After a few years the truth came out.  Truth number one..we hated our town.  Less than 9,000 people and I swear none of them had their teeth or their mental faculties about them.  We had a drunk neighbor who saw bears running through the woods and another neighbor who liked to come and ask us if we knew the Lord.  I don’t mind Jesus or anything..but I certainly mind people coming up and asking me if I “know” him and if I don’t I’m going to hell. Truth number two..after Holden was born I wanted to be closer to my mother..so..much..that..it..hurt.  I missed her when she was gone and I needed her there with me.  Truth number three..that adorable house that I loved was growing smaller by the second and I often found myself saying “in my next house I would change…”  Realizing that perfect isn’t so perfect is a tough reality.  Truth number four..we were house poor.  Buying a brand new house..it’s not cheap and the fact that we wanted to move..we were changing jobs and the job market in our town (of 9,000) was pretty dim.  So we put it on the market in June of 2010..hoped for the best and when I landed a job in Columbia we packed up and left our house vacant while we lived with my in-laws for nine VERY long months.

With all this you would think the minute we could pack up the U-Haul I would be there will bells on..but I wasn’t.  I couldn’t even go.  I couldn’t bear to see the stuff taken out of that house.  I couldn’t see Holden’s room taken apart bit by bit.  I couldn’t think about how Reilly used to sleep curled up by the mantle and he was no bigger than one of the tiles..and now he is about 5 tiles long.  I couldn’t be there to watch as the memories were packed into a U-Haul and driven away forever.  There was so much love in that house.  I don’t know if I will ever love a house as much as I loved that house.

 

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2 Responses to “Saying goodbye..”

  1. Kim June 1, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    I am desperate to move out of my house mostly because my neighbors are awful and it is no place to raise a small child.

    But I know that when we do move, I’ll probably weep a bit over the memories since it was our FIRST house (and it has lots of firsts… like a baby!).

  2. Sarah June 4, 2011 at 9:01 am #

    I can’t imagine leaving my first house- at the same time I’m dying to get away from my Hoosier neighbors. Unfortunately we’ve fallen victim to low housing prices and our house is now worth less than what we owe (even though it was 10 over asking when we bought it). Just be lucky you got out now- so many others can’t sell. Can’t wait to see pics of the new place!

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