True stories that have actually happened.

13 Feb

18 years old..about four months into college and living on my own for the first time I had this conversation.  I swear up and down that the following statements actually came out of my mouth.

The setting..Victoria’s Secret checkout counter…

“Miss, would you like to apply for a Victoria’s Secret credit card?”

Me:  “God no.  The fact that I sometimes run out of clean underwear is the only reason that I do laundry.  (It was true..when I was in college I had enough clothes to essentially outfit every girl in my sorority  and their worst enemies.)  Can you imagine what would happen if I had unlimited access to panites?   My laundry already looks like it threw up all over my room.  I think it would eat me if I got a credit card here.”

Slightly dramatic was completely true.

Yesterday I had that moment in life when I realized that the girl I was at 18 and the girl I am at 30 might not seem the same but …I haven’t completely lost her.

The setting..the checkout counter at Lowe’s.

“Ma’am (I preferred the miss) would you like to save 5% and apply for a Lowe’s Credit Card”

Me:  “God no!  Can you imagine what would happen if I had a Lowe’s credit card?  My husband would leave me.  I’m certain of that.  He already hates house projects but if I bought him a table saw he would have no excuse.  I’d be installing toilets and installing hardwood like it is my job.”

Good news.  I’m still crazy.


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